Good-Bye Sno Balls

Well, they're gone. My cat's Sno balls are gone. I am so bummed. My cat Jackson got neutered on Tuesday, and now instead of fluffy white sno balls, he has a pink spot. That's it, a pink spot.

So I come into work after dropping him off at the vet's and I find out from a co-worker that there are prostheses for that area, in effect, prosthetic nads. Why wasn't I aware of this? He could've kept his sno ball glory, and yet be unable to procreate with Cher across the street (read Good-Bye Testicles for more info on that). These prosthetic nads are called Neuticles. Whomever came up with the idea is both a mad genius and a sick freak. The funny thing is that one of the reasons listed on the web site to get the neuticles for your animal is to retain his self esteem. Really? Do cats have self esteem? In any case, had I known about these silicone miracles before the procedure, Jackson may just have had to have them. After all, a cat's self esteem is paramount.

Good-bye, Testicles

Well well well... How long has it been? Jesus H. and all the ships at sea, almost 2 months. Tis wrong what I've done here, not writing and all. But I am writing something now, and you'll read it, and you'll like it. Maybe...

So my cat Jackson is going in next Tuesday to have his fuzzy white testes lopped off. Is that what they do these days? They still lop them off? Or do they just give him a vasectomy? Cauterize his seminiferous tubules? Look, sex education hard at work, I remembered seminiferous tubules. Anyway, I think it's about time he had the operation because the animal is on a rampage. Every morning I deal with the garbage being knocked over, mad attacks on my wall calendar, the stalking of my feet, and full on attacks of my person. I love him to pieces, he just needs some pieces removed and then maybe he'll calm down a bit.

He's been hankering for some kitty lovin' across the street; a saucy little bob-tailed minx named, of all things, Cher. He sits across the street and longs for her kitty hotness. I am disgusted. My cat need only be interested in food and toys. And sitting quietly and calmly. And purring.

I'll let you know how things turn out, and whether or not he retains his snowball nads. I'll miss the snowball nads. But cat sex? Ew.