Elevator Guy, Hippie Gatherings, and Flights to South America

So I just remembered that I promised Kara that I would blog tonight, so while I wait for the first coat of my toenail polish to dry, let's talk about some topics shall we? Here are you choices for tonight's ramblings, they are as follows:
1) The guy that works in my building that wears a newsboy cap and has perfect teeth, and subsequently makes my teeth sweat;
2) The "I love the earth so damn much that I am turning off the lights for an hour and getting drunk in the dark" gathering that I am having; or
3) Trying to figure out the best way to get to Ecuador in October -- three connecting flights or two and a five hour layover?
Well? Tick tock Clarisse... I thought you'd see it my way. Elevator Guy it is.

I have seen this guy in my building and in the elevator for over a year now. He's tall, handsome and his teeth - his teeth! O' were they to bitest me, my life would be complete! Uh, sorry.

The only thing I knew until recently was that he always wears a kick ass hat, works on a floor above me, and has a little boy. Either that or he repeatedly abducts the same child over and over for the sake of appearances. Every once in a while we'd say hi, how are you, the niceties of those who secretly wish ravish one another within the confines of Otis. As of late I have seen him more and more, which I think is the baby Jesus trying to tell me to get it on with Elevator Guy... because that's how baby Jesus talks when he means business.

The other day I was walking to Rite Aid to get some Nerds - the sugar nugget elixir of life - and as I am walking along someone comes up behind me and says, "Hey I know you." It's Elevator Guy, wearing the worst wig I have ever seen. I was taken aback by the hair hat, and I didn't say anything about it - you know - in case it was for a purpose, like he has cancer and very poor taste in head coverage. As it turns out he was on his way to Rite Aid as well, to get some ice for a party at his work. Hence the wig. Hence the wig that looked like Javier Bardem's No Country for Old Men hair. So not only is Elevator Guy hot, he's hilarious and has no problem wearing synthetic hair in public. He also loves to karaoke, and that my friends is the clincher. I must have this man. The baby Jesus wants it. I want it. My friends want it for me. That's like 7 cubic feet of want. So we'll see. Maybe the baby Jesus will orchestrate a few more meetings on Otis. And if he doesn't, I am borrowing the wig and flipping a quarter in his direction. Call it, friendo.