Why did I get a cat?

Once upon a time, I owned a cat. He was rather nice and cute when he wasn't rampaging, but he sometimes would drive me crazy. This morning he curled his body around my head and was purring -- although it woke me up how can you be mad at purring? Anyway, I moved and he hooked his claw into my ear. I was not happy. Not at all.

Why did I get a cat? I hadn't had one in almost 5 years and then I went into a pet store. And there he was, all 2 1/2 lbs. of fuzzy white happy goodness, complete with pink ears and an orange-striped tail. Did you know the devil could have a "familiar" that small? Well, I do. I know it well. Since bringing Jackson home, he has puked on my pillow, punctured tiny holes in my leather sandals with his bat-like teeth, shredded every inch of flesh from my bones, knocked the lamp to the floor at least 7 times, refused to stay off the computer desk, whined incessantly for people food, and used various pieces of my furniture for his own personal scratching posts.

Why did I get a cat?

He is growing exponentially and I expect that he will weigh 700 lbs. by the time he is through. He eats like I never feed him. I've figured out when he whines for people food that cottage cheese will appease him. Cottage cheese? Preposterous.

He has approximately 4,000 toys, of which he plays with about 2. He likes the cardboard box that I put the toys in much better. He has a cat tower that he drapes himself over langorously, like Nero waiting for slave boys to bring him grapes. He runs through the house sometimes a million miles an hour and growls while poufing out his tail, slowly coming to a stop doing that sideways horsey gallop.

Why did I get a cat?

Ok, so the devil inside behavior is balanced out by the completely, amazingly, achingly cute things he does. Like having to be held like a baby in the morning before I go to work. Like rolling on his back and falling asleep. Like getting those huge eyes right before pouncing on bugs in the grass. Like wrapping himself around my head in the morning and purring. And then hooking his claw into my ear and drawing blood. Yes, that's why I got a cat.